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Gunsmoke: The Guitar

Season 1, Episode 35


1:00 lmao this is the rowdiest shit I’ve ever heard. They did such a great job with this scene, especially the one on the left.

6:00 did that random guy just say he owns the Long Branch??

8:10 I take it they aren’t fond of Yankees.

11:45 shit I’d mount up and be the fuck out of there pronto.

14:25 if the burro meant that much to him he should have never left it unattended after a situation like that… I sure the fuck wouldn’t have.

16:32 I mean come on, this Weed fella is a wimp. It’s lame. He needs to grow some nuts.

20:06 NOW he’s gonna move along? NOW HE’S GONNA MOVE ALONG?!?!??!!!

21:18 I swear this guy’s dumber than a box of shit, honestly they can kill him but just leave the burro alone.

22:00 at least he’s got some smart people looking out for him in this ONE instance, but I think his character is ridiculous… no way he made it that far in his travels without getting killed. It’s just straight up unrealistic.

23:08 wait, what!? Well, fuck me!!!

23:45 MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Now that’s old west justice right there, baby!!!!!!! I don’t see a damn thing wrong with it.

(May 5, 2022)
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Gunsmoke: Cara

Season 1, Episode 36


1:00 oh wow, is this episode about one of Matt’s past love interests? That’d be kinda nice.

1:11 is that her?? She’s a looker.

1:20 wow this is heavy, so Doc’s wrapping up her arm while the hotel manager’s talking about people previously attempting or committing suicide in the hotel’s history. Wow man, I didn’t expect them to touch on a topic like this!

3:42 lol he patted that guy’s horse on the ass!!!

4:25 well I don’t like her as much as Miss Kitty but it’s good to know he’s at least shagged a bitch before!?

4:50 she didn’t botch it, she just wanted attention. Seems like Marshal Dillon likes ’em either crazy or risque.

6:10 oh Miss Kitty ain’t gonna like that at all, and as far as I can tell, Matt ain’t really on board with it either. I don’t rightly blame him. A shifty broad showing up again after all those years is just weird.

6:20 send her over to the Lady Gay for God’s sake.

6:35 “There’s no such thing as a gray cat.” That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

7:20 lol this is what Miss Kitty wears to bed? Good Lord… glamorous much??

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I love this scene.

12:28 well she’s right about that.

12:45 sounds like he’s setting her up.

13:15 this is the first woman he’s actually sent over to work at the Long Branch as a dance hall hussy. I should be celebrating this epic moment, but alas… lmao, it feels like an empty victory.

14:10 yeah, it’s definitely worse than being a saloon girl.

15:20 I mean Kitty’s right about everything she’s saying, but I think she’s got Matt pegged all wrong on this one. He’s gonna nail that chick and I ain’t talking about in the bedroom either. He’s not interested in her.

16:25 ROFLMFAOOOOO this SCEEEENNNE. Roflmfaolololol. LOL!!!!!!!!! Oh man Kitty’s mad.

21:25 can’t get one over on Marshal Dillon… what a man!!!

23:30 kiiiinda hoping he shoots her, and I bet Miss Kitty wouldn’t mind either, bwhahahaha!!! I guess that opener at Boot Hill was kind of a spoiler if you think about it.

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Gunsmoke: Mr. and Mrs. Amber

Season 1, Episode 37


0:30 no Boot Hill opener on this one. Some of them didn’t have it. Maybe these were the ones that deviated from the radio show scripts.

1:20 it’s so weird how I thought about the whole Johnny Depp/Amber Heard fiasco when I read this title, and this scene is all about this guy describing how when a man gets prodded and pushed too far “Ain’t you got a right to rise up and strike against him?” Kinda spooky. Sounds like he’s describing a situation between two men, but still. “Ain’t he responsible for his own hate and meanness, ain’t he partly to blame for making you want to kill him?” Sooo weird. And who the hell has ever heard of “Amber” as a surname anyway? Sounds like the universe talking, to me. I don’t really believe in coincidence.

2:28 I meeeean, basically everyone in this show has publicly declared that they were gonna kill somebody at some point, so nah Chester, I’d say there’s a chance he means it.

5:15 sometimes Marshal Dillon makes me feel all wild inside.

10:00 fricken weirdos.

14:08 that’s a little dramatic.

14:50 I can tell this guy can hardly take his role seriously, it’s just so ignorant and extremist.

20:50 lol… couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!

There just aren’t enough hours in the day to watch Gunsmoke.

(May 5, 2022)
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Gunsmoke: Unmarked Grave

Season 1, Episode 38


0:07 oooohhhh, Marshal Dillon… is your backside a sight for sore eyes!

God he’s so beautiful. He’s so gorgeous. When I started out watching Gunsmoke, I had no idea I’d be so smitten with James Arness.

1:44 I’m sorry, but if this is the “boy” he was referring to in the intro, I don’t fricken like him at all and I’m not gonna have an ounce of compassion for him. They’re lining us up to hate this character, there’s no way they aren’t. Maybe the intro was about somebody else.

2:25 he does have a cute mouth though.

Nothing is better than Gunsmoke.

3:30 “All the Shortys and the Curlys and the Slims”… like pure poetry. His voice is like music to me.

I wonder if they listened to the corresponding radio show/episode before they filmed each one?? Or if they just went off the words on the paper script and never tried to get a gauge from the radio show? I think it’s preferable if they didn’t concern themselves with the way the radio show episode went and put their own spin on certain things.

4:11 so like… when was he gonna tell her that, exactly??

4:28 I love how he guides her ass down onto the chair… *nanarub* I’m gonna have to watch that again.

Oh God he’s so fuckin’ hot.

5:20 I love how he just blinks at her compassionately… *lustful yearning*

6:04 “I’d be obliged if you’d come and lay the pipe on me directly, Marshal.” *dancing banana*

6:20 oh come on, he knows every last motherfucker in Boot Hill, he knows where that guy’s buried.

8:30 damn, this lady’s annoying.

14:00 wow, he needs to throw that dumb bitch in jail.

20:26 I kinda hope she gets caught in some crossfire.

21:00 those ARE some nice pants though.


24:00 I wanna get soooo naked with Marshal Dillon. I can’t wait to see him in color!!!

24:45 yeah no shit you were lady, now why don’t ya quit yer yammerin’ and let the good marshal scoot on along to the Doc so he can NOT DIE?!?!?!?!

25:00 another episode that just ends right after Matt gets shot, no scenes at the Doc, no reassuring he’s totally fine, just ends like everything’s cool, lmao.

25:30 sounds like they’ve changed the pitch/speed of the closing theme and made it sound a bit… happier. Definitely more spiced up. It’s very pretty.

(May 6, 2022)
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Gunsmoke: 65th Anniversary Box Set (2020)

(April 29, 2022)

Guess what?

It’s the 65th Anniversary (2020) Edition box set of every episode (and special commercials) of Gunsmoke, ever.

All 635 episodes on 143 DVDs.

That’s right…

I get to start from EPISODE ONE, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a quick product review…

First of all let me just say, this box set was made with a lot of love and care.

I don’t think it could have been designed better, they did their level best.

The packaging is very nice, it’s gotta be one of the biggest box sets ever.

I would say this box set was a quality control nightmare, and I commend every person who put these sets together one by one.

I want these DVDs to be protected and last FOREVER, so I got a 160 capacity semi-hard shell CD storage case, which worked absolutely beautifully for this purpose.

I checked every single DVD and made sure it played as I was unpackaging the boxset and putting the DVDs into their cushy new home.

Every DVD was in fine working order, there were no duplicates, there were none missing. Other than a few discs that had gotten free inside the case, there was nothing out of sorts.

There was ONE disc that had strange dirty areas on the label side, and I spotted a huge finger print on the reverse side of one other disc. Other than that, they were flawless.

Sooo many DVDs. Insane. It’s an absolutely massive show and I do legitimately wonder if there’s ever been a larger box set ever made.

The one thing I’d have to suggest is to release future box sets in one of these semi-hard shell zipper cases straight away instead of in the hard plastic cases that are customary for DVDs. It’s VERY nerve wracking to remove each of the DVDs from the original case, and I recommend grabbing the DVD on each end so that you put balanced forced on the whole thing rather than from one side only… one of those discs could very easily crack otherwise. None of mine did though, I took my time and was very careful. But I’m relieved to have the separate sleeve/holder bag so I never have to put those precious DVDs through that strain again.

What a wonderful box set, I’m not kidding, I am absolutely over the moon about this.

The box set is the ONLY way to watch the ENTIRE series, as it stands at the time of writing.

Even if it were to be available in whole on a streaming service… I am just not a fan of depending on services, and “the cloud” and all these other third parties in order to be able to watch my favorite content.

I want to OWN it.

I believe that this box set is absolutely a worthy purchase for any Gunsmoke fan.

I tried not to like the show… LOL, I tried to find fault with it, I tried not to enjoy every episode I randomly selected. I tried not to fall down the rabbit hole, but I just couldn’t avoid it. I fell in love with Gunsmoke…

And it’s fucking on.

So begins my journey through this legendary show.

This evening, I begin from episode one.

There will be no commercials. There will be no streaming. There will be no buffering. There will be no unwanted interruptions.

What lies ahead in this journey is pure pleasure, many laughs to be had, tears to be shed over poignant plotlines…

And lots of drooling to be done over the sexy cowboy men and wild western ladies that I’m about to have the honor of laying eyes on.

As I was checking each and every DVD, I noted a few things…

The thing I was most excited about was that legendary first color episode. When I got to it in season 12, I was amazed. It was far more beautiful than I expected it to be.

I noticed that the characters looked like an 1800s photograph come to life. It’s not only in color, but it’s in some of the most beautiful, warm, vivid coloring I’ve ever seen.

The red hair is luscious, the blue eyes are piercing, and the sets and scenery look like they truly are right out of the late 19th century. “Impressive” doesn’t even begin to describe the quality of this show on every level.

The sound and picture quality of the DVDs is excellent, the captions seem to be very satisfactory to my snobbish expectations from what I’ve seen so far.

If any Gunsmoke fans ever find this commentary, I want you to know I feel our kinship. You may dislike my verbiage and you may not agree with the things I say, but we’re family. Bottom line.

I’m about to watch the very first episode over a righteous dinner…

And so it begins.

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Bob Dylan: Hearts of Fire

(December 18, 2023)

Video Transcript:

We gotta talk about “Hearts of Fire” (1987).

I get so excited.

I’ve been a Bob Dylan fan since the early 2000s…

I was always into him but I got really back into him a year ago around this time…

A year ago around this time, I saw Hearts of Fire and I had never heard of the movie before.

I had no idea it existed.


Bob did us a solid by being in that movie, that was Bob doing us a favor.

That was one for the ladies.

If you’re a dude, there’s nothing in that movie for you unless you just openly like to stare at Bob.

I’m so grateful to Bob for being in that movie…

It immortalized him at his finest, hottest era.

He took so much flack for being in that movie.

He was like a martyr for that movie.

Thank God he did because…

It wasn’t even a bad movie, in my opinion.

It was a lil hokey or whatever, but it wasn’t a bad movie.

It had some really interesting lines in it too.

It got weird.

Typically when I watch movies, I write commentary while I’m watching it.

I didn’t do that with Hearts of Fire because I just wanted to really soak it in.

Certain lines in the movie that Bob’s character says…

They were philosophical, on point, true and deep.

Bob or somebody said that he was only in that movie because his publicist said it was a good idea.

We’re talking about the 1980s, Bob Dylan was already an absolute legend. Untouchable.

Bob’s not gonna do something he thinks is totally stupid just because his publicist said so, that’s an excuse.

He was in that movie because there was something about it that he believed in.

I’ve heard that concept ridiculed, and I think that’s sad.

Bob showed us part of himself in that movie that I don’t think he’d ever shown before.

There’s a reason I’m so into Bob Dylan.

There are a lot of reasons to be interested in Bob Dylan.

Here’s the thing, I was always into Bob, but when I saw Hearts of Fire…

It was beautiful.

I’ve read reviews about it that sh*t-talk it to the ends of the earth…

I think you’ve gotta be a joyless, sad, sorry fuck to totally hate that movie.

Bob’s an incredible performer, but the man cannot act.

No offense.

And I love him for that because I’m suspicious of people who can act really well.

It’s a litmus test, he’s just being himself and tapping into something within him that is real.

That’s why certain parts of Hearts of Fire just made me love Bob Dylan even deeper.

Unless you’re a chick, you’re not gonna value this movie so much.

But if you ARE a chick who’s into Bob Dylan, this movie is like a dream come true.

I’m so glad Bob was in that movie.

There was this one scene where Bob gets a kiss…

His reaction to it was true to himself.

When I saw this, I could see Bob’s soul.

And it was… not evil.

I think there’s so much darkness/evil in the world…

When people can act really well, I just think there’s a ton of deception involved in that.

Bob’s got something beautiful inside.

The scene in it where they’re in the car and he makes reference to the Nobel Prize…

This is one thing that makes me super sus about the whole nine.

That prophetic reference to the Nobel Prize…


Who wrote that line?

Was it planned all the way back in the ’80s that Bob was gonna win a Nobel Prize?

I’m not gonna go down that rabbit hole and get to feelin’ some type of way…

I don’t wanna sully the absolute beauty and majesty that is Hearts of Fire.

It was delicious.

I always ask for more from Bob.

More of the things that would bring me pleasure and a sort of naughty sense of enjoyment.

But at the end of the day, he’s already given us what we want.

Now it’s just a matter of being greedy and wanting more.

Which is totally human, it’s totally normal to feel that way.

I’m never gonna stop wanting more Bob Dylan.

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Bob Dylan Richmond KY 2023 Concert Review

It Was Mystical
(December 4, 2023)

Video Transcript:

I went to a Bob Dylan concert in Richmond, KY on December 2, 2023 and it was magical.

I did not go expecting it to be magical. I didn’t want to have high expectations and get disappointed for whatever reason.

I read a lot of reviews about the concerts and about how people act in the crowds sometimes.

Also, sometimes Bob’s obstructed by a hat on top of his piano or a water bottle or whatever.

I just didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment, but…

It was unbelievable.

And it was a journey for me too.

First of all, when I bought the ticket in October, I couldn’t believe it.

Bob Dylan came to Richmond, KY. He didn’t come to Lexington, he didn’t come to Louisville, he didn’t come to Nashville.

Those are places I don’t approve of as far as going there to see a show. It’s just not gonna happen.

I’ve been to Nashville to see shows, but I’m not going to Louisville and I’m not going to Lexington because the Man O War is crazy to drive, I’m staying away.

I had restrictions on where I would be willing to go to see Bob Dylan, and I said to myself like a year ago…

If Bob Dylan comes to Kentucky somewhere that isn’t scary as fuck to get to, I gotta go. It’s just like a sign from God. And it happened.

I got my ticket in October and I was like, “This is a couple months away, that’s a long time.” And of course it went by really fast.

I couldn’t even believe that I’d actually gotten a ticket for that entire time. I planned for it, but I was just like, “Come on, this isn’t real.”

So when the day came, I made the trek over the mountains and through the woods. The way there wasn’t bad because it was daylight…

But on the way back it took every ounce of concentration I had. It was pouring rain, it was foggy.

I listened to the same song on repeat for almost the entire way, which was “Hysteria” by Def Leppard.

I was just feeling the vibes and that’s what I do when I drive if I need to be in the zone because of challenging conditions, or if I’m obsessed with a song I’ll just put it on repeat forever.

I’m still processing my thoughts and feelings. The fact that I actually saw Bob Dylan in concert…

And I saw him good too.

Bob Dylan was pretty damn close.

I could see him clearly the entire time, I can’t even believe it.

It was so…

Honestly, it was weird.

Because my seat was on the aisle behind the handicapped section and there wasn’t another row of seats directly in front of me, nobody was obstructing my view.

I was so lucky to get that seat, I didn’t realize it was so great. When I bought the ticket, it was just the closest seat that was on the aisle, which I have to have.

I’d hoped it was a good view, and it was just insanely good.

You can tell Bob does this a lot.

He does this A LOT dude.

That kind of perspective, traveling around just doing show after show, for decades?

What must that be like?

To have that experience, I can’t even imagine.

Bob has seen every single kind of person. At least 100 times, and probably way more than that.

What is that like? What would you even see anymore when you look at people, when you see a crowd? What would you even see? How would you feel about it?

And who can relate to that? Nobody can relate to that.

So Bob stands alone, and I really don’t envy that at all.

I don’t envy Bob Dylan for being as famous and beloved as he is, and people also hate on him. It’s crazy.

I think you gotta be a special type of person to take that, it’s gotta be your destiny. Cuz otherwise, how would you function?

After seeing him, it was incredible, and he was amazing but…

What is it like for him?

You’ve done it so much… can it ever be special anymore?

I can’t imagine.

Somehow Bob makes you feel like it IS special. Which is…

True showmanship, pure mastery.

He can make you feel like you’re the only person in the room.

The way he delivers the lyrics is just powerful.

He IS music, he IS lyrics, that’s just what he is.

Also, 60 years of constant practice probably doesn’t hurt either.

But not just anybody would be able to do that.

I didn’t know that he was pretty much psychic. Because when he’s up there on that stage, he’s just pounding it out but…

He’s also just so huge and expanded in his awareness that he takes up a huge area with his presence and his essence.

So when he’s singing the words, it’s not just words coming out of his mouth, it’s like…

Tentacles of magnetism that reach you and move you around.

I was literally swayed around by the words Bob Dylan was saying.

I didn’t need to understand every single word he was saying, because it’s beyond words.

It’s just imbued with this essence.

It’s like…

No wonder he’s Bob Dylan.

It’s beyond magical.

I didn’t expect that. I didn’t go expecting that.

But from the second I got there, it was in the air. There was magic in the air.

It was gentle magic. Soft magic. I didn’t expect it to feel like that.

It was like a lover, not a fighter kind of magic.

It was like a gentle, soft, purple magic.

I swear I’m not trolling, I’m so serious right now.

It was like a misty, foggy, hazy magic. It was mystical.

And where I parked…

I ended up pretty much right by where they park the tour buses.

I didn’t even see them for a while, but when I did I was like whoa.

I just didn’t expect to see that. I expected to see the front of the building or something.

I didn’t expect for it to be so personal. It felt as personal as a concert with thousands of other people can feel.

But it was special…

I think I saw Bob Dylan walking around outside of the tour bus.

It could have been anyone, but…

It was this mysterious hooded figure.

I kinda think it was Bob Dylan.

And Bob Dylan on stage?

Say maybe that WAS Bob Dylan in front of the tour bus like an hour before the show…

Imagine if that was him. That was just like a regular person walking around out there.

And then he gets on stage and he’s wearing these sparkly pants and he’s dressed to the nines.

He carries this absolute legend with him onto the stage.

Like I said, I don’t understand the perspective of somebody who’s had that kind of life experience.

To play that many shows and be that renown is something that even other famous people…

Have they really had that experience? Cuz I’m pretty sure Bob’s had that experience harder than anybody.

Elvis died pretty young though to be fair, I don’t think he’s a good example.

But I’m just trying to think of other people who are ridiculously famous.

I love Bob and I appreciate the fact that he’s been doing this for so long…

He’s truly incredible.

There’s so much muscle memory involved with what he does too. It’s almost like you could autopilot through it.

But I imagine it probably requires an intense amount of concentration to play the music and be amazing.

It seems kind of like a hard job.

Being in front of all the crowds? I’ve never gotten the impression that Bob is ever nervous. Like in his entire career.

Maybe I’m just oblivious to the way Bob feels, but I just never got the vibe that he ever had stagefright.

Maybe he did at one time, but it sure doesn’t seem like it anymore.

Seems like any type of nervousness he had getting in front of a ton of people is like, way long gone.

And now it’s just as common to him as getting up in the morning…

Eating a piece of toast, brushing your teeth, checking the mail. It’s like it’s as routine to him as something like that.

I just wonder…

I wonder so much.

I still have so many questions.

Ironically, the answer doesn’t come in words. It comes in feelings and emotions.

That magnetic, psychic force that sways you. That’s where the answers are.

I don’t need to know anything else.

I just need to feel it.

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The Scandalous Writings of Bob Dylan

I Need This From You
(November 29, 2023)

Video Transcript:

This is probably gonna be my least cohesive discussion yet, but I’ve gotta go in on this.

Is it just me, or is ~Philosophy of Modern Song kind of horny??

It just seems like maybe they’re giving Bob a ton of testosterone to keep him in tiptop shape…

But there were things in PhMoSo that did not sound like they could have come from a man of Bob’s age.

I know men basically never quit, but it just seems excessive.

And that was another reason I was skeptical that Bob even wrote it.

I’m not a hella expert on Bob Dylan, but I’ve never known him to be particularly dirty.

I’ve never known him to be sexually scandalous.

I just kinda wonder, what’s up with that?

And I’ve also wondered if maybe he wrote PhMoSo over the course of years and years.

Maybe he wrote some of that stuff when he was a lot younger or something.

I’m mildly perplexed by this and just really intrigued.

He’s left me wanting more.

I feel like Bob has been holding out on us.

If he was capable of this all along, then why hasn’t he released more stuff like this?

Why doesn’t he just give us more dirty talk?

Bob, please I’m begging you, before you die can you please just give us more?

I want Bob to write straight fucking filth and release that shit at like 85.

Go hard, Bob.

Just don’t stop.

I need this from you.

Some of the things in PhMoSo were straight up scandalous.

Some of it was just straight up dirty.

And if this is really Bob, dare I say…

I kind of like his regular writing more than I like his lyrics.

It honestly drives me wild.

I know it’s a lot to ask and I know he’s already given us so much but…

Just, please. More.

More dirty stuff, Bob, you know exactly what we want. Just deliver.