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Colorado Birthday Celebration

(April 7, 2019)

Video Transcript:

So I just made it in to my hotel. I came to Colorado so that I could have a birthday celebration because it’s my birthday in two days, or a day and a half.

I use this really cool thing called ~LectroFan. It’s just sort of like a white noise box. I’ve had this for five years almost. They do still make the LectroFan, but there’s a lot of different kinds of these out there now.

(Holds up bag of ~Nacho Cheese Doritos)

This is one of the things that Annie does in a hotel room. I envisioned this, and now here it is. This is the power of manifestation.

Don’t worry, I have more than Doritos to eat. I actually have these as well…

(Holds up ~Austin Cheddar Peanut Butter Crackers)

I also have some beans and some canned salmon in the car. So I’m good. I plan to eat a lot less, from now on really.

Just out of curiosity let’s go ahead and see how the Colorado drinking water.

Tastes tastes like absolutely nothing. Perfect.

Ooo, look, it’s raining.

Well, it’s fuckin’ amazeballs, that’s what it is.

(Strikes pose)

I had to fart. That’s what I do when I have to fart. The whole world stops, and I’m just like… workin’ it out.

(Holds up ~Mary Jane Salve)

So anyways did I finish what I was saying about this?

I’m gonna put it all over my body. All over it. Gonna apply it to my entire body.

(Holds up hotel cup with ~Yoohoo chocolate drink)


(Holds up ~Montauk Milk Chocolate cookies by Pepperidge Farm)

Mmmm, it’s good.

Alright so now that I’ve eaten a little bit, I think it’s time…

(Holds up Colorado chocolate peanut butter cup)

For some bliss!


I’m so stoked! This is so great, I love this place.

(Eats chocolate peanut butter cup)

Wow. Now that’s interesting.

I can’t even talk very loud cuz I just feel like they’re listening to me and I’m not even high yet.

I’m not even high yet and I already think they’re listening to me.

God, it’s not easy being me because of my severe like, mental problems.


Okay, I’ll be honest, in my opinion, I don’t have severe mental problems…

But I am weird.

As fuck.

Incredibly weird, so…

That’s not a mental problem though.

(Points camera to window)

Super gorgeous.


I don’t know if it’s the power of suggestion but I genuinely already feel wasted, and it’s been like 5 minutes.

I really need to take a shower right now, that’s what I’m gonna do.

I mean I’ve got a lot of this shit to eat, you know what I mean?

Oh my God, I definitely feel it working and it’s been like less than 15 minutes.

I can already feel my body beginning to become warmer and it’s not because I turned the heater on it. It’s like a deep warmth radiating throughout my body.

One thing I notice is that there’s not very much lighting in hotel rooms anymore. Like not just here, but everywhere. The lighting is just… horribad.

Throwing my socks and my underwear in the shower with me.

No, I’m not fuckin’ high, like not at all! What makes you think that!?

Fuckin’ water is cold-ish. Well, it’s warm but it’s not hot.

Lol, like the most confusing statement ever. Whatever.

Oh my God man, fucking Pantene dude. Ahhh. Shit.

It’s Pantene.

I’m always like mega paranoid in hotel showers because I always start thinking I hear somebody like banging on the door.

Like the hotel’s on fire or something, or I did something wrong, you know what I mean? Super paranoid. Always.

(Towels off from shower)


(Cleans ears with Q-tip)

Feels so good.

There’s no reason to get dressed.

That’s my fuckin’ creed in life.


Gonna bring my socks just cuz comfort zone. Living.

Looks like it rained a sunny day almost…

(Goes over to window naked, peaks out)

Oh gosh, I hope nobody saw me. Well, anyways.

I feel like I’m about to do something naughty, but that’s like totally not what’s going on here.

(Lathers body in Mary Jane Salve)

Oh my God this is the shit dude. I highly recommend rubbing your entire body with this stuff.

I’m like, rambling and making no fucking sense.

I’m so fuckin’ high right now.

(Stands beside heater blowing)

Oh my God it’s so warm. It’s good.

Colorado. It’s Good.™

There’s nothing to show on the camera here, except for like the bathroom. What’s going here?

Oh my God…

laughing fit

I think we need to like, wash my face or something, the fuck?

laughing fit

Hey. Do I look high?

I feel so fresh and clean, oh my God. It’s goooood.

That should be an ad for Colorado.

laughing fit

So it’s like 10:30 the next morning, and I’m still gettin’ high.


Oh my God, I literally haven’t even got out of bed or anything, I’m just laying here.

I’m actually really hungover to be honest.

So I think the only cure is more.

(Holds up Montauk cookies, eats)

unintelligible hungover moans, giggling

It’s fucking cold in here.

It’s literally not, but you know. Kind of cold.

What the fuck is the deal with this fucking camera?


It’s totally the camera and not just me.

Ain’t got very much milk left.

I ate most of the Doritos.

So I don’t wanna have to go back to the store.

I guess I could, but I really don’t want to.

One of the things I really like about Doritos is the fact that it makes your burps taste like you’ve been eating spaghetti which is one of my favorite foods, so. It’s just really good, to be honest.

This shirt is keeping me warm, otherwise I’d be cold as shit right now.

I’m tired of the cold. I wanna be warm…

(Shows t-shirt which says “Sriracha”)

Like hot sriracha sauce.

I try to leave hotels incredibly clean and like not much went on in here. I mean not much did go on in here, but you know.

I always get double beds because you might need extra pillows and you might need another bed.

In the past I used to use one bed to sleep in and the other one to eat in. Which is a really good idea, I really recommend doing that. I didn’t do that this time, I’m just eating in the one I’m sleeping in.

What I’m not really clear on is when I’m gonna take another shower.

It’s a really nice shower though. With the walls and stuff and it’s shiny. But it’s just so much effort and it’s not really that warm.

I just wanna find a place to camp where I can be beside a body of water, and just get in the body of water. I know that’s not really that warm either but you know, it’s gotta be better than just showers. So fucking boring. I’m so bored of just… showers, you know what I mean?

I’m so bored of walls and doors. I just feel like there’s gotta be another way to live. There’s gotta be another alternative to this. I feel like this way of living is passing away. Like decades from now people will be like, “Do you remember when people used to live in houses?”

And if I’m still around I’ll be one of those people who are like, “Yeah I remember living in houses.”

But I don’t think people will live in houses in the future, I think it’s gonna be mobile and way more individual space based.

I think that’s just the natural progression, that’s just the future, that’s just what’s gonna happen.

So I ordered a pizza just now, and some breadsticks.

Honestly, cannabis hangover is…

Not that fun for me right now.

I probably took 15MG yesterday (Colorado chocolate) so maybe that was too much.

But that’s just crazy…

It’s crazy how powerful it is.

I feel fucking rough, dude. I feel like shit.

And my head hurts. That’s the worst part about it.

(Holds up spatula selfie stick)

Spatula selfie stick with ~Velcro front and back. There’s Velcro on the back of all my cameras.

I think it’s good to have extra cameras, cuz I plan to do some kind of crazy shit and they might get destroyed or lost or dropped etc. So it’s good to have backups.

Just waiting for my pizza because I feel…

Fucking terrible today.

It’s just the headache that’s so shit. It’s like pure shit.

Genuinely I feel like I need to go to the desert and just lay there in the sun.

I feel like I need serious sun exposure.

Feel like I need heat.

~Pizza Hut!

Oh my God look, there’s a plate and everything. Cheese. Napkins. Breadsticks baby fuck yes, aw get in my fuckin’ face dude. Put it in me, seriously.

It’s about to be on.

Would you just look at it? Just look at this.

(Opens curtains)

There, that’s good enough.


You almost need like 2 days to recover from indulging.

Like after my first fricken night, I literally need to recover from that. Which is something I did not expect, and I certainly did not allot for needing time to recover from my recovery.

eats breadsticks and dipping sauce

It’s almost like needing a vacation from your vacation.

And it has me shook, okay, I’m legitimately kinda shook by that.

Cuz it’s like…

I don’t have time for that, you know what I mean?

I don’t like to stay in the same place for very long anyway, let alone spend time recovering from what I did there, you know what I mean?

holds pizza to camera

I wish I could share this pizza with you right now.

I don’t like the feeling of being hungover.

I mean, I came to imbibe so that I could feel better than I usually feel, but like unfortunately that’s not what happened.

(Points camera out window)

Let’s see what this can see.

There’s like an open garage down there, I don’t know what they’re doing.

That’s a nice little storage building though, you could totally live in that storage building. I mean, I would live in it. For a while.

But yeah dude, I dunno, I just feel fucked up, you know what I mean? Just ugh, shitty.

I mean look at my eyes, you can tell I look kinda fucked up.

I feel fucked up, so.


It’s interesting the way they run the (dispensary) stores and the things they say. It always seems like living the dream, until you do live it. And then… there’s still struggle.

You make the dream come true, then you start living it, and then you find out that there’s hardships. Like of course there are.

To be somebody who sells cannabis product, in a store! That’s like living the dream. Yet, there are still problems. Go figure.

I guess the idea behind life is to keep living the dream, cuz the dream changes. There are more dreams to live and they require going to other places.

This is the same with anything in life. There’s no reason to stay in one place. There just isn’t.