(April 13, 2019)
Video Transcript:
Hey y’all.
So, I sinned.
And I got some Subway and that’s just all there is to that.
(holds up ~A&W)
Got me a root beer, and it’s about to be on.
Essentially what I’d like to say is that I have gotten some sun exposure today.
Like, you know the slight smell of burnt skin when you go to a tanning salon, you can smell everybody’s nasty skin burning, that’s what it smells like.
And I can feel the feeling of having been a little bit sunburnt. Y’all, I don’t get sun exposure, it’s just something that doesn’t happen in my life. So I got some sun exposure, and the sun is hot. And it’s not just because I’m dressed warm for the area of the world that I’m in. That’s not the reason why I’m so hot.
If I wasn’t wearing all these clothes, the sun would be burning me even harder.
eats
It’s fairly likely that I’m gonna have to move along cuz it’s gonna be even hotter tomorrow.
And the issue is you can’t just sit around all day with your air conditioner on. Birtha doesn’t like to idle, Birtha likes to move. If she’s gonna be on, she better be going somewhere. She likes to power. She doesn’t just wanna sit there and provide you some air conditioner.
Birtha and I, we don’t use air conditioner. It’s gotta be like 100 degrees for me to turn the AC on.
I crack the window and that’s it. So when I turn the AC on, Birtha’s like, “What’re you doing?” and
I’m like, “Girl, I know.”
Birtha pressures me, she lets me know.
And there are like flies and stuff, y’all.
gets out foot long sub
I’m a bad girl, like bad.
Look what I done went and did.
I totally am sunburnt, I can feel it. It was one of my goals to become sunburnt. I wanted it all over my body, and I’ll get it, don’t worry.
So the guy at the Subway was pretty hot dude, he looked kinda like one of my first loves, like one of my hardcore crushes. He had long hair and he tied it back in a ponytail and he was fine.
And I always get a turkey with extra American cheese. And it kind of got to a point where he was getting frustrated with the extra cheese.
He was arranging it in a pattern or whatever and it was intensive and he got tired of it. But he was super nice, it was never a problem but I could just tell he was like, “This fuckin’ bitch and her extra cheese, dude.”
And then I went up to the counter and I bought this A&W from the guy up there, and I was like super nice to him, winkin’ at him and shit. But not in like an all out pure and total flirting kinda way, cuz that’s just the way I treat people sometimes. But he thought it was about to be somethin’, you know what I’m sayin’? It was great.
He was getting hassled by his female co-worker though because she could tell I was kinda flirting with him and he was kinda liking it and she just wasn’t having it.
This heat done has me frazzled today, if you were me, you’d be wearing this hat right now too. It’s hot and bright out here and it’s hardcore. I don’t know how people put up with temperatures 20 degrees hotter out here. That’s the reason the camprground host yanked the sign and the covered bench down. They’re about to leave this place because it’s gonna get super duper hot.
I came at the very end of the season.
Let me tell you one thing about me…
I like to eat, okay?
There are times when I don’t eat, and I eat very little. I have a sordid history. But I fuckin’ like to eat, okay I do.
The shadow from this hat is like the matrix lattice all over my face and neck, I’m lowkey turnt by that, that’s my shit right there.
I digress, this is so fuckin’ good…
eats
And you know what?
I could have just gone all day on the soup. But the heat forced me to go into town and just do what I saw a lot of other people doing, which was sitting in their vehicles idling with their AC on.
Or they just go and hang out in the gas stations, stores and fast food places because they have AC.
And I’ve seen a guy cruising town in this very memorable van. That’s what he’s doing all day. He’s going around all day running his AC and parking it up at night.
I can’t do that, if I’m gonna drive Birtha, I’m gonna drive Birtha out of some shit. I’m not just gonna cruise around or sit around and run the AC all day.
It’s a happy medium. It’s a hard balance to strike, it’s hard to find somewhere that is a perfect temperature during the day and a perfect temperature at night. Or just bearable, something that you can put up with.
I was thinking, well it’s to better to deal with a little bit hotter weather during the day than to have to deal with colder nighttime temperatures. I don’t know about that. Now I’m thinking it might be better to go somewhere with better nighttime temperatures that are a little bit too cold for my preferences to have temperatures that are better during the day.
If I wanted to sit in my car with the windows open and stuff, it wouldn’t be too hot to do that.
Dude, these flies…
sigh
And it’s like, I could pitch a tent and hang out in the tent. And that was my plan, admittedly.
But…
shakes head
It’s hot as balls, you guys.
I wish I could drive Birtha around and just never stop. Just never stop driving. Just keep driving. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
Heaven is a place where I drive Birtha all fuckin’ day, and then I stop at an interstate rest area, and then I repeat again the next day.
And sometimes every now and then, just for a little variation and a little bit of a variety, sometimes we leave the rest area in the middle of the night because things are a little bit weird. And we drive on to the next rest area and stay there for the rest of the night.
Heaven is a place where I just drive Birtha all day, just drive it. On the interstate. And select desert roads.
I love to drive.
eating, thinking
This is how you learn. What works, what doesn’t work. What’s feasible and what’s not.
And I definitely feel like right here right now is almost not feasible.
I can kick it right here for the rest of the day and the rest of tonight, but it’s hotter tomorrow and I can’t take it.
I’m such a contradictory motherfucker, cuz I’m sick of cold, I want heat. But now it’s like too hot.
I’m still sick of the cold, still wanna be warm. But it’s a fine line.
